Making New Friends? Meeting Potential Boyfriends? Part 1

Hey blog buddies,

How is everyone doing? This is very hot in socal and I cannot wait to go back to school.So today I will be tackling the topic of interpersonal relationship.

My friend recently moved to a new apartment with some random apartment-mates. (They all don’t know each other). However, my friend was telling me about how he felt awkward around them even on the first day and that he didn’t fit in. At the end, it turns out he didn’t even make the effort to say hi to them. I just want to say, “Making friends with anyone takes effort”! I don’t think anyone should expect to have a million friends without taking their time and invest in his or her relationship. In this post, I am going to share some of my observations about interpersonal relationships with you all. Without further ado, let me start talking about today’s topic.

For me, interacting with anyone is to create, and to direct an one-of-a-kind story. From the opening, to developing, and then to ending, the experiences and the learning process you gather becomes a stage for you to grow and accumulate life skills. I believe the more you understand yourself, and the more you understand others, the more you will be able to create stories, and the more you will able to direct the story the way you want it.

It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with people you see everyday, such as your friends, coworkers, or dealing with people you love, the basic principles and the nature of interaction is very similar. I am going to divide my observations/advices into  the “Everyday-life Stage” and the “Love Stage” and hopefully that helps.

In interpersonal relationship, “the opening” is the most important part in my opinion. Much like a show, if the beginning of the show is not good, the impression will be compromised despite how good it is later on. It doesn’t matter who you are facing, nor what occasion, please give yourself and the other person a chance. Here is the list of my observation/advice:

Positioning Yourself!

Everyday-Life Stage: Before you interact with anyone, you have to understand yourself enough that according to your own personality and personal value, you can define the basic principles you live by. In addition, it is important to find and apply your unique and lovely characteristics to your relationships. As much as people said, be yourself or “sincerity” is essential to interpersonal relationship. If you talk one way when you see this person, and talk the other way with the other person, you are not being who you are, and at the end, you are not going to develop a friendship that you desire. Don’t float with the wave, and seek those principles you believe in.

Love Stage: Why do you think people say that girls love bad boys??  Well, I think bad boys has very defined “game rules” when it comes to relationship and it makes them stand out from others. I am not encouraging anyone to be a bad boy, but be able to catch the other person’s sight and good first impression. To do that, you need to be able to show your unique personality and characteristics. By simply agreeing with what the other says, or even lie about what you enjoy is not going to get his/her heart.  To the other person, you may be just another person that supports what he/she think.

Low Key but Distinctive!!

“Everyday-Life Stage”: When entering a new environment or facing a new person, it’s better to be flexible.  Better yet, make everyone someone you can look up to and learn from. Even if you are the god of some fields, don’t shine like there is no one else better than you. I think it is much better to start out at a “passing grade” and raise it slowly as people start to get to know you better. Also, it gives yourself a space to create and show them who you are in the future. I have seen many time that if someone comes off really strong at the beginning and trying to get all the attention, people usually end up either liking you or hating you. I am definitely not a fan of this bipolar situation.

But now you told me that I should be low key, how do I stand out from others then? Good question J By distinctive, I meant to leave a good clear impression to whom you are talking to. A typical example of this would be wearing clothes with weird pattern or colors may leave people with impression such as “weirdo.”  As long as you have confidence, look clean, and refreshing, people will still remember you. In addition, some common etiquette should always be kept in mind when first meeting someone such as what to do when you are yawning, coughing,  or sneezing and personal hygiene such as sweat, bad breath..etc. Respect other people’s nose and eyes; forgetting those basic etiquettes will bring you no friend.

“Love Stage”: I am not sure if this is true, but a lot of times, I found that men that don’t want to talk a lot, or looks “cold” actually attracts others more. You don’t have to be a clown to get attention. But of course, I am not telling you to be emo and stop talking with anyone anymore. Approach naturally, be yourself. Even if the other person is not taking the initiative, I am sure he/she can’t resist your friendly and fresh first contact ;). (or at least I feel that way)

After outlining how this blog post is going to look like, I decided that I will post about this interpersonal relationship issue in several post and make it a series of posts because I realized there are many things I want to share with you all and the blog will look super long and I’m sure no one wants to read about my rambling for hours ;). The above two points were one of the many points I wanted to share. More will come soon !

Let me know what you think about the points I talked about today. Do you agree, do you not agree? Do you have your own philosophy to approach new people?  Comment down below and let me know 🙂

Shawniesan

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